Another week gone, and while I am at the moment no longer in the sky dungeon safely tucked away, not much has changed in that sense. I am not tied to a couple of leash rings inside the house. Still “All alone in the dark” as it were. 😉 Of course, there is less and less to write, all days are the same, the hours floating into each other.
And (as predicted) with the newest Restrained Life Viewer, I am now even cut off from listening to group chat. And no, I don’t actually respond to general group chat, apart from the Subbie Union group chat. And mostly just for the fun of it, I actually *do* know I am gagged and my client is blocking incoming and outgoing
But three weeks. I have never been locked up that long in my life. And yet it doesn’t seem to affect me as much as I thought it would. It’s calming actually in a sort of strange way. I did notice that without any contact at all it’s slightly harder.
Part of me fears sliding down into this feeling of extreme isolation. I can’t really think of a word to describe it. But basically its a state where there is very little exciting happening and it’s rough going. I’ve been there earlier when I was doing my first isolation experiments.And on the other hand, part of me kinda wants to get there as well. I guess more than anything else it would tell me how far I am getting to my limits to my breaking point.
Of course with approaching that there is always the part of me that is stubborn and wants to push further and further to please Mistress. 🙂 One thing I did notice, is that for now, I am having less problems with communicating. In previous times I needed some time to adapt to normal speaking patterns, perhaps as I had gotten used to it. I don’t know. I am not sure how I will react when I get out of this. I did notice when I could talk to people for a couple of days back, I found it, well kinda angsty to talk to people. Guess time and experience will tell how this will affect me.
I just .. am.