Well the second week has come and gone and so far, I’ve been doing well. Sure part of me misses being able to go where I want, when I want. The biggest thing I am missing is talking to my dear friends and going to those few events that I like attending. I know that I am already have a bit of a natural habit to isolate myself.
Part of the reason I loved Mistress’ home so much, because it was so quiet and peaceful. it’s a natural barrier that sits quite well with me. But on the other hand, I am immensely grateful for those friends who keep poring and poking me, and get me to come to their events. (You know who y’all are).
However, so far I am doing really well, I think. I have been now isolated, blind and deaf for over two weeks inworld and so far I have not had any trouble dealing with it. My cuffs have roughly collected about eighty-odd hours of time on them, so in that case, I have broken new records as well.
Perhaps it’s the fact that while being locked up I am not being confronted with people and therefore less pressed upon and missing social interaction. Or perhaps rather being confronted at an inability of being able to socially interact or in case of banishment, even being punished for interaction (whether intentionally or unintentionally ).
Anyway for now my *second* week of being isolated is done, and we’re gently moving into the third one. I guess as a reason for my “good behaviour“, Mistress lifted most of my restrictions. Which means I can do most things people would consider normal (like talking, inventory, etc), but as far as that, I am still restricted in movement, I am still blindfolded (albeit blurry), and gagged.
I have noticed though, that I am a bit more withdrawn. If this is just normal part of the isolation I am not sure. I feel, actually a bit withdrawn, perhaps disassociated with the rest of the world. I know that last time I was isolated, it took me a while to come back to my normal self again. But this feels slightly different.
Guess part of it has to do with that last time, when Mistress freed me from isolation, I was nearing the point where it occasionally became very hard going. Right now I feel pretty much like I am on day 2 or 3 of that experience. I am still enjoying it.
Frankly it gives me a sense of balance and stability for some reason. I might ask Mistress to lock me back up tonight. Maybe stricter than before, but at least in a way that I can find that balance again.
I guess I am leaving you with one quote I saw when watching Babylon 5 re-runs:
Everything out there has only one purpose; to distract us from ourselves, What is truly important. But there are no distractions in here. We can learn much from silence.
–G’Kar
xx
lexi
