Today was quite a different day from yesterday….
Where yesterday I was feeling rather euphoric because of the new situation, today it started to sink in that, no I can’t really communicate with people. It’s a powerful realization that, even when you are surrounded by four to six people, who might be talking about you. The thruth of the matter: you .. just .. don’t .. can’t .. won’t .. know.
Several times a day I have people come up to me and try to get my attention or talk to me. It’s hard cause I can’t see what you are saying. Please do understand that I am not ignoring you (who ever you are lol). To give you an example this is what my screen at the moment looks like:
Avi Averson:
Avy Bear:
Avie Square laughs
Avi Anders falls on the floor and laug
Avy Bear:
Half the time I am just guessing, and the other half? Well, it feels to me that an added side effect perhaps from the isolation is that I start less and less to want to try and communicate. The few times *that* I do, it is an effort. I feel so drained afterwards. So most of the time, I just keep myself quiet, and just watch, enforcing on myself the furthering of the restrictions that that the suit places on me. I begin to see the emerging of being frustrated at being forced to do nothing. Yet, right at this moment, I still love it and it’s on going. As I asked Mistress, I do not want to be released unless I either safeword, or she decides that I can come out.
When we locked me into the Isolation-suit for the first time, I thought that perhaps it was going to be for a couple of hours. Kind of give it a test run and see how well I like it. But it seemed that 1) I can’t keep my mouth shut and have to push myself deeper in trouble. 2) Mistress loves the idea with me being this isolated from the rest of the world and completely at her mercy 3) She knows me so well that she probably knows I didn’t want to be released soon.
One of the things that made me laugh, was when Sheila popped by (whom I met yesterday for the first time) and pulled out this huge prim wooden board, on which she had written that she had read my blog and understood about not wanting to keep communicating via note cards. It was brilliant in his own right and lifted my mood. After a while she removed the board, give a quick hug and walked away. I am looking forward to actually talking to her when (if?) I get out. Thanks hon!
However, the best part of the evening was when Mistress came online and I could finally talk to her. It was such a wave of emotions of relief. It really brightened my day. Thank you Mistress! Of course it wouldn’t be her if she left me with the feeling that I could be in here for a while. She also mentioned about perhaps putting in place a system of well, I guess in absence of a better word, protocol-violations. Which could mean I could be in a hell of a lot of trouble.
Like Marine mentioned on her blog, There is so much to say about this kind of experience, but so little ways in which it can adequatly be expressed. I would like to say this: It may seem like it’s all bad and frustrating and yes probably some part of it is. But I am eternally grateful for the way this is going and turning out. And I wouldn’t change it for the world, and if I am honest with myself, I do love whats happening to me. Perhaps in a bizarre twisted way that I can’t explain yet. Or find the words, the right words, at this moment to describe it.
More tomorrow…
L-8746
This really has been a delightful experiment so far. The iso suit really does cause a stir, and people are genuinely interested in it.
I have many thoughts/feelings in regards to the iso suit and Lex being interred within it.
First and foremost is that it’s exciting to know that Lex is waiting for me to be her conduit to the outside world. I always look forward to seeing Lex, but there is an extra bit of excitement knowing that she is bound and waiting for me.
Second is Lex’s reaction to the iso suit. I was concerned that she would bravely accept being locked in, but would be unhappy with the experience. So far things seem to be going well, and while the experience may be different from what she is used to she seems to be making the best of it.
Third is how other people react to it. Most are fascinated and seem to really get the idea behind it. Some seem baffled as to why you would want such a thing, and a very small few are horrified by it. I can only say to those who understand it to read the tutorial and try it out for yourselves. To those who don’t get it, or are frightened of it I can only say to each her own.
Fourth and lastly and I am loathe to admit this, is the tiniest bit of jealousy. I have been a switch from day one, and before I met Lex actually spent most of my time as a submissive. So to see the suit and how it functions gets me thinking about making one for myself. This of course leads to the question of do I hand over the keys to someone, or do I set timers? Can the same experience be had by someone who sets their own timers? I’m not sure of the answers to those questions. All I can say is that for now I am very content to be Lex’s “Custodian”.
The only questions left to answer are:
-How will Lex react to continued isolation?
-How long will our little experiment last?
-Will we see hordes of iso suit clad people running around SL?
-Will I give into temptation and build an iso suit for myself?
I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Uh … I did not know, that Lex do hear nothing. I hope Marine will take my idea soon to create a script, so that the isolated person can hear the other like they wearing a gag.
Well I think of creating a iso suit for me too, but I don’t know how it could be without a Mistress who have the control over you.
I will keep following the experiment.
It’s that evil hood, it includes the NoReceiveChat / NoReceiveIM scripts in it. Any incoming IMs are blocked, and most standard chat (it lets in short emotes, and cuts off longer ones). I have been thinking of trying something similar but then with the NoReceiveChat Script disabled.
And I agree Joaquin, you need to have someone there, a Mistress or a very good friend. I have monitored Vel twice now, which were both very interesting times lol. Quite hard work too!
xx
lexi